We Are Still Working On

My friend Kathy from Earthlink asked me to show her some pictures of our house in process. Well we are still working on it. The kitchen design is on Sammy's blog(click the "Sammy's" link on the right). Here they are

Something always carries me!

Winter Shelter For My Plants

Finally He can have glasses

Sammy always dreamed of wearing glasses. I wish that he could have wear glasses for me. Now finally he have one of his own now since he is diagnosed as far sighted. How exciting !&^$%#$% Here it is his debut with this groovy glasses

When Forty Really Becomes New Thirty

I always thought that it comes across as a kind of consolation than congratulation when you are told that forty is your new thirty at your 40th birthday. When I was young, I just could not wait for growing older, bigger and stronger. However to the contrary, most of us try hard to seize youth if we could when we cross 40th mark. After all, I passed my 40th mark more than a year ago.

I could not help but realize more and more wrinkle lines crawling on my face once it was all shining smooth. Well I never freaked out when I passed that mark. But I was not able to grasp what I really felt then. I guess that it was more like the flavor of Chinese five spice. I had looking-forward and fear equally, some more or some less.

We fear something we know and other thing we even do not know. We fear fading of our physical appealing, fear reducing of physical capacity, fear losing of life excitment, ....... even fear getting closer of death. I realize that aging gracefully is beautiful in mind but hard in reality.

It is an old Chinese wisdom that you have made it already when you turn into 30 if you are gonna go somewhere. You should settle in for what you have at the turn of 40. Nowaday, we are living much longer life. But we might still have our old mind set.

One day When I did my routine driving across the same beautiful field, wild flowers, trees and mountain range with simply blue sky, my horizon loomed right in front of me and become extending beyond. I suddenly felt fear less as when I was a kid. I come to realize that fear or less lies in our perception toward the future, present and surrounding.

When we appreciate our life cycle just like the rotation of the Nature, Spring evolving into Summer, Fall turning to Winter,

When we can not wait for another adventure tomorrow before today becomes yesterday,

When we open our mind for posibilities new and exciting,

When we live in present and look forward into future

We are graceful as we age.

Mind your mind As mind your head!

When I applied for a graduate school in US, this professor in Montana State helped me a great deal in the application process. We communicated through letters and telegraph(not kidding)for more than a year. Finally he provided me with TA(Teaching Assistant Position)with my academic competency and English proficiency. This sponsorship enabled me to come to study in America. I am very grateful for his help until today.

That was the same person that gave me first glimpse of religion impact in American life. I grew up right in the middle of Great Culture Revelution. Of course we was taught that no god can save us but ourselves(Actually, this line is from a famous song written during Pairs Commune). It sounded very atheistic. Ironically enough, Mao was worshiped by the billion willingly or unwillingly. Religion was very remote and unthinkable for me.

When I started my school, this professor constantly invited us to his church and I went to several times. And he asked me and other Chinese graduate students to his bible study every week. I could not remember how many times I ever went. Not that many. Surely I and other Chinese felt the invisible pressure since he was the director of the graduate program. I resented that and stopped being part of his church activities.

Until one day, a member of his church told one of my Chinese friend that we had lived so miserably without realization until we become christian. They surely had a misssion to save our poor Chinese souls. Until this day, I am reluctant to doubt my professor's sincerity. However, this experience certainly did not give me any easy feeling for Christianity. He surely opened his heart to help me and others.

We have frequently heard the church preaching to be selfless and open heart. They are all admirable. Spirituality is a part of most every living human being's life. Religion becomes a shelter for many of them just as the Nature is for me. When you are giving, the best return is your spiritual satisfication. However, it seems for me that a great deal of Christian institutions use charity as a weapon to convert others intentionally or unintentionally.

Spirituality should be the puriest field of each individual being. I want to keep it for me to nuture and cultivate. My life has been profoundly influenced by Buddism and Taoism since I am Chinese and grew up in China. But I am still able to be atheist. No any other country is so obessed with the ownership like us in American. However so many have been so ready to surrend their most valuable asset -their minds to others who can not be more ordinary just as themselves. That is why so many bigots and ignornce exist in our country.

I am not anti-religion since it is nothing more than a way of living for many. We feel so fortunate to have somse of our dear friends who are devoted Christians. They not only open their hearts but also open their mind since they possess their own minds. Life will be nicely simple and less confusing when we mind our own mind just as mind our heads!