I do not remember when I started attending kindergarden. It was a daily routine for me to get up early, wash face and brush teeth and get ready in hurry in the morning. Then mom or dad rid me to kidergarden by bicycle before heading to work. Almost my mom carried that daily task since my dad was sent by his company to do on-site design far away. I always counted my figures and wished that I could be able to grow up fast. I did not hate my kindergarden. But I was so jealous of our playmates in my neighborhood. They had their grand parents around. Some of them was brought up by grand parents at home. That was just such a luxury beyond for me and my brother.
I grew up right in the middle of the Great Culture Revelution. People just did not have any control of their own life. I could not remember if I ever asked my mom where my grandma was. But my brother and I gradually grew up without. My aunt always came and took care of my brother and me in the absence of our parents. My mom brought my aunt to the city from their hometown when she was 16 in late 50s. She had a chance to finish high school and attend college.
We called my aunt's hunsband Uncle Wu. One day my mom picked my brother and me and told us that my uncle's mom just arrived. We took bus to go to visit them. I was around 5 or 6. I had seen my uncle's mom a couple years before. But I was a bit confused that this grandma looked differently from what I saw last time. She was taller, thiner and had a longer hair. I could not remember much of that visit.
I think that she arrived in fall or early Winter around 1970. Mom, my brother and I visited her 2 or 3 times a week during her stay. But she never came to our apartment. My aunt always introduced this grandma as my uncle's mom to her neighbors. However behind the door, the talk between her and my mom was like mom and daughter.
I still vividly remember two of the visits. My mom was a high school principal. She always had meeting almost every night after work. Sometimes the meeting lasted into late night(10 or 11). Sometime my brother and I went to school with her and waited until the meeting was over. One night, someone in school gave us a water melon after the meeting. It was already late. My mom would like to bring water melon to this grandma and share with my aunt and uncle as well. We took bus for twenty minutes, then walked another 10 minutes to get my aunt's apartment. I was asleepy but just could not wait for tomorrow to finish that water melon. But we could not stay for too long since we had to catch up with the last bus back home.
We usually visited my aunt's apartment after my mom's evening meeting in the week day . That was the only time we was able to. Sometimes we missed the last bus and had to walk almost a hour back home. But we never complaint since that might be the only time that we could talk with my mom for that whole day.
One afternoon, my brother picked me up early in the afternoon from kindergarden in a cold winter day. We took the bus to my aunt's apartment. I think that my mom asked my brother to go to see this grandma. When we got there, this grandma was the only one at home. My aunt and uncle were at work. She built a fire to keep the house warm. We were sitting around the fire. She peeled a pear for us and put this traditional sweat rice pie on the fire. It turned soft when it got hot. Then we dipped them into sugar power. We did not talk much. her eye was very peaceful and looked at us eating. when it was the time for us to leave, she just kept check again and again to see if we had enough to brave the cold winter outside.
A few days later, my mom brought us to see this grandma last time before she went back to the country. I still remembered that I sat next to her and my mom asked me what you likeed grandma to bring you when she came back. I hestitated since she was not really my grandma. I was tentative to say how about a hen. She asked anything more. I said: "Could I have a duck too .. and a goose as well?"
Less than a year later, I was told that my own grandma passed away. I did not even know at that time that I had ever seen my grandma before until years later. My mom told me that my grandma told her that night no matter how hard she must bring me a hen, a duck and a goose from the countryside thousands miles away. I still can not imagine how hard for her to keep from showing her affection to us at the time and that her grandsons were not allowed to know that the grandma in their dream was right in front of them.
She would live a much long life if she was not forced to go to the countryside. She would get a much better medical care. That is my mom's biggest regret. But it was out of her capacity. We just can hope that never happens again.
